An Anon suggested I visit a Tumblr blog run by a happy FTM. I’ve seen plenty of them, and this one was like all the others: Filled with post-op top surgery pix, advice on packing, confessionals about all the changes wrought by “T,” and asks from 15-year-olds about how to access treatment when their parents weren’t jumping on the bandwagon. What there isn’t is a single voice arguing that maybe you could explore your more “male” traits without medicalizing the whole thing.
Here’s the thing: Just because all these young transitioners are flying high on their newfound chemical-surgical changes doesn’t mean questions don’t need to be raised. In fact, that’s just the point: The mad rush to extreme medical solutions for the problem of dissociation from one's own body is exactly the reason why blogs like this are important.
And voices like mine are few and far between. I've heard from a few parents who want to speak out, but they have mostly been cowed into submission and shouted down with accusations of "Transphobia!" or "You are responsible for the suicide of transgender kids!"
This is why people saying “oh but look at this study where people report satisfaction with their transition surgery [some undisclosed time afterwards]!” Of course a surgery aiding you in disassociation will do that. Of course the hype and the deafening chants around you “this is necessary, this will make you all better, this is your only hope, other than suicide” will make you say, to everyone and yourself, EVEN BEFORE the surgery is obtained, that you are happy with the decision, and that it’s the best decision.
But something that aids your disease is never the best. If you feel happy, if your pain is eased, i’m happy for you. But i’m allowed to be worried. I’m allowed to push alternative treatments that i’ve seen work. I’m allowed to denounce the coercion of kids to make these huge choices while they’re still kids. I cannot believe the flak i get for doing this. I can’t believe the holey compassion found in transgender communities.
Self-fulfilling prophecy–that’s what it is.
Keep speaking out. There is power in numbers.