4thWaveNow

butiwasntaboy:

These days, it’s easy to get all caught up in your own emotional fire while reading the written word on the Internet. When you write or respond to a blog, and you’re full of piss and vinegar, sometimes you don’t realize the way other people might be interpreting your words. Between passion and anger, there can often lie a thin line. However, I appreciate the opportunity to read the writings of some obviously amazing and introspective people. I might not always agree 100% with what they say or how they say it, but I don’t have to. None of us do. As long as we remember to be respectful of each other, and remind ourselves that there are real people behind these blogs, no matter how crudely they are written or how clumsily they’re expressed, we can help each other to achieve a higher level of understanding. We can hear each other. We can help each other.

I have gained a LOT over the past several months by reading about the experiences of others, and recently by sharing my own. Things that I had never fathomed were thrust into my being by incredibly beautiful, articulate individuals who just wanted to vent, share their perspectives, and possibly help others. I cannot begin to thank you all for your efforts.

I know there is hate. Sometimes, it comes from people who are frightened by what they read because it cuts deeply enough to make them question their own choices, and the only way for them to defend themselves is to lash out. They say terrible things to cut back. They’re wounded and want you to feel it as deeply as they do. Other times, people read what you write and offer alternative perspectives, or call you out by exposing what you never realized was a lack of sensitivity. They remind you that these words we read and write come from the hearts and brains of real humans, and that just as you want to be heard, so do they. We all have the right to be heard. People have said incredibly nasty things to me, simply in response to my own feelings as I was able to crudely put them into words. But I accept it. Because it’s real.

David Levithian said “What separates us from the animals, what separates us from the chaos, is our ability to mourn people we’ve never met.” Clairee Belcher (in Steel Magnolias) said, “The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.” I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. In our blogs, we engage with strangers we’ve never met, and use their thoughts to accessorize and emphasize our own ideas, but we often forget that these words are coming from a place of others’ raw emotion and vulnerability. When you gut yourself and expose the world to your emotional organs, you sometimes forget that everyone might not exactly consume them as you intended. They might throw them back at you and give you a chance to self-reflect on another level, even it is by looking at your own entrails through the lens of another human. It might not be pretty. But sometimes it’s beautiful. We touch people, and they touch back. Sometimes, it’s a gentle pat on the back, but other times it’s a punch in the gut. I’m willing to risk it for that, because the way I look at it, either way is an opportunity to grow. Either you like what you see, or you don’t, but both experiences allow you to reflect.

I think that what we have here is a real opportunity for openness, and even if it feels uncomfortable and ugly sometimes, I don’t want it to stop. If we stop, we lose our voices. And THAT, my friends, is something we should never allow.

The written word is a wonderful, powerful thing. AND without tone of voice, eye contact, and all the other mitigating influences of face-to-face interaction, it is easily misinterpreted.

I try to remind myself, particularly when reading angry words, that most us are doing the best we can with what we got. And that anger often arises from deep pain.