I’m female and I have physical and social dysphoria, but I don’t want to identify as male or transition because it would complicate so much shit in my life. I just don’t think I can do that.
I’ve been told by trans guys that transition is the *only* way to overcome dysphoria, and I’ve been told by radfems that it’s not even an acceptable way. I don’t think I agree with either of those stances, but I would love to talk to some woman-identified females who have overcome ‘ftm’ type dysphoria without transition. I would prefer reblogs or responses to the post instead of private messages b/c this is a side blog so I can’t respond privately.
It wasn’t even an option back in the day, so I did what I had to do to survive. I got therapy and antidepressants to deal with the depression I was coping with. I started making art, doing martial arts, teaching myself that my body wasn’t a decorative item for others. It is a tool for me to accomplish things. I started treating myself more kindly.
I’ve found a lot of healing in thinking of my body as a tool, or as a machine. It has purpose, and function.
Hey whimsicalgoodies,
So caveat–”dysphoria” means all things to all people, and if you want a really relevant response to your particulars, then let me know just what you mean by that. My experience is that dysphoria is not necessarily alleviated, let alone cured, by hormones/surgery. In some cases it is even exacerbated.
I hear that you feel there are polarized “camps” weighing in on your choices and you want to hear from those who have been where you are. I have been there. This is where I live. While I don’t fault survivors of girlhood for taking the path of transition to try to cope with our messed up world, I also think we deserve better options and do not believe that transition is cool, mystical, a liberation movement, a challenge to the existing gender hierarchy, or a safe and proven treatment for an objectively observable medical condition (as opposed to a psycho-social one). It is always odd to me to see something glorified as identity/pride, that is so obviously born of devastation and desperation. Also odd to see a disabling treatment model touted as a cure.
No, transitioning is not the only way. I am part of a community of 50+ womyn who have been through something like what you are describing, and we are handling it differently. Whatever “dysphoria” means for you, there are some among us who share that meaning, because we span an incredible range of experiences. We don’t all have everything figured out clean and perfect, but we also don’t have to hold this alone.
And this is not to mention all of the older womyn I know who hear our stories and recognize so much of themselves there–womyn who made another way before “dysphoria” even had that name.
So you are not alone and you are not doomed to that one particular path that you don’t seem to want to walk.
If you do want to talk privately about this off tumblr, feel free to email me at redressalert@gmail.com