the------jew
asked:
I understand that you are worried that your child is wrong and theyre not trans- but if you call your child by the pronouns they want (he/she/they) your kid may feel more trusting and open. They will also see as more empathetic/ caring and more likely to tell admit he/she/they were wrong if they happen to be cis. I get that its scary and gender should not be a fad but it seems like your child is adamant on this. Or you could just have an open discussion with them of thats better for you (1/2)

It sounds like you are coming from a caring place. You are 100% right that being empathetic and listening carefully is the way to go for a parent vs. condemnation/ridicule. Of course, we parents (like our kids) are imperfect, so we don’t always get it exactly right. I don’t have trouble understanding feelings, and I do support my child being “gender nonconforming.” I actually think the gender roles imposed on girls and women are very restrictive, and I don’t buy into them at all, so my kid and I are in accord on that.  

Also: Even though I am a critic of the medical transition of any children, my kid is one of the thousands of teens who only caught the “trans bug” after gorging on transition stories on social media. I would STILL be opposed to medical transition if she had been saying “I’m a boy” from the age of 3, but I think the surge in adolescent girls suddenly wanting to transition is directly related to what they imbibe online.

You and I do disagree on the definitions; I don’t subscribe to the notion of  “cis” and “trans,” but you are right on that healthy family talks are the way to go. I actually have a policy of not posting asks that contain the term “cis,” but you sound like a person who is just trying to help, and I appreciate that.

I’m curious why anyone would think my child is “adamant,” because that really isn’t the case. A lot of people who send me stuff jump to conclusions about “preferred pronouns” and all the rest, but there is no basis in my blog for those assumptions.