Anonymous asked:

Hey! I found myself on your blog and am so curious... Could you please tell me what de transitioned trans man means? What's your journey if you don't mind sharing? I'm just trying to become as informed as possible. Lots of love!

tightbra answered:

If someone is detransitioned, it means that they transitioned (either fully or partially) to another gender, and later decided to transition back. I never got very far in my transition, fortunately. I started when I was around 14, and by the time I was 18, I began my detransition.

I realized that gender dysphoria is a mental illness like any other: and that it can be overcome with proper psychological treatment. Gender transition is a coping mechanism, but not all coping mechanisms are healthy or sustainable in the long-term. I also realized much of my ideas of gender were rooted in stereotypes.

My mother supported me when I explained my dysphoria and intention to transition. One day though, she asked me a vital question. She asked me why I had to be a boy. “What will you be able to do as a boy, that you can’t do now? Why do you need people to see you as a boy? What is the difference between a boy and a girl?” At the time, I interpreted it as transphobia, due to old age and ignorance. I dismissed the questions, assuming that she was too dense to understand my struggle. What I realized later though, was that those questions were valid, and had to be answered if I were to continue with my transition. I needed to understand why I felt the way I did.

After two years of introspection, therapy, and learning, I found the answers I needed.


What will you be able to do as a boy, that you can’t do now?

Live, free from the oppression inevidably tied to being female.


Why do you need people to see you as a boy?

I don’t. I need people to see me as a person. An individual. A whole.

What is the difference between a boy and a girl?

Nothing, not really. The only difference is in how we’re perceived and treated.

What I learned was that there is nothing wrong with me, or the way I was born. Rather, it was a problem with society: the way they viewed me, and all women. 

14 year old me didn’t want to be a woman. I wanted to be a person. Only now, years later, have I come to understand that women are people, we are individuals, we are whole. Despite the way society pushes us down and demands we wither. 

“My mother … asked me a vital question. She asked me why I had to be a boy. “What will you be able to do as a boy, that you can’t do now? Why do you need people to see you as a boy? What is the difference between a boy and a girl?” At the time, I interpreted it as transphobia, due to old age and ignorance. I dismissed the questions, assuming that she was too dense to understand my struggle. What I realized later though, was that those questions were valid, and had to be answered if I were to continue with my transition. I needed to understand why I felt the way I did.”